Probably not. But I will be.

I’ll be boarding the great Dutch Apple in Albany, New York tomorrow night for my first booze cruise. I have plenty of experience with beers, and with boats, and with beers on boats. But those times have been on a 16-foot Bayliner hauling a few friends and our iced-down cooler around Adirondack lakes in mid-summer.

Tomorrow night is different. It’s mid-October, I thankfully I won’t be driving the boat, I’ll be wearing more than a bathing suit and sunglasses, and my drinks are coming from the cash bar. All this means I get to do my best Michael Scott dance moves (once I’m many buttons deep).


All credit goes to Two Buttons Deep for making this event happen and providing us with live entertainment from 8-9. The cruise is a great idea to promote their brand. It’s not a tough brand to promote: Stuff Worth Talking About™, drinking, having fun. Who can’t get on board with that? I’m pumped to tie a few on with them and other fans on a beautiful fall night on the water.

I just have one question. Do I have to wear a buttoned shirt so I can literally go 2, 3, or 7 buttons deep? I’m not planning on it, I see going “X buttons deep” as a mindset. It’s a “not working, life is great, I’m making it feel even better with a few too many beers” mindset. It’s much more common in the summer for most people, but tomorrow night gives me a reason to do something different and have a ton of fun.

Naturally, in preparation for my first legitimate booze cruise, I’ve re-watched a classic episode from The Office, “Booze Cruisea few times. I’m led to believe that our captain (hopefully Rob Riggle) has military experience and can motivate at least one couple to get engaged or set a date for their wedding. And dammit he better declare himself the party captain right off the bat. If he doesn’t, I’m willing to take charge if the party needs me.

Okay, maybe it won’t be exactly like it was on Lake Wallenpaupack in Scranton, PA, and that’s probably a good thing. Can’t have a local regional manager declare the ship is sinking and thus causing a panic. I’m looking forward to a great night on the Hudson River with the 2BD squad and going all buttons deep.

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Just clearing the air.